February 2012
23 posts
I’m so fucking angry at this whole FUCKING situation that i can do NOTHING about I’m about to explode and cry.
I swear nothing ever fucking works for me.
I haven’t been as sick as I have been the past 2 days in quite some time.
Valentine’s Day was the worst one so far; spent it in the er and got horrible news.
Ughhhhhhh. Shitty.
I had more fun with strangers last night than I have had with my “friends” in a long time.
Actually, scratch that, I only have one friend now and he’s starting to drive me insane because he’s acting like a weird, creepy, jealous boyfriend.
Something needs to change here.
I wish you would call me and be a man.
Explain yourself and give proper closure.
But unfortunately, I always pick cowards.
HMMMM…. interesting convo with my sons dad.
I finally get an I’m sorry for the first time in over 3 years.
And a “do you ever wonder what could have been?”
He’s married.
Isn’t it a little late buddy?
7 tags
Yoga and a hot shower… Fixes everything.
Much needed relaxation.
Kick boxing tomorrow… much needed for anger management.
All I ever wanted to fucking do was be something great.
Something good enough.
I’ve been through way too much, overcome too much.
Why do I have to fix what others have done to me?
I’ve dealt with EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE TO ME AND I’M THE ONE WHO SUFFERS.
I’M THE ONE THAT HAS TO GIVE UP MY FUCKING DREAMS.
I WORK MY ASS OFF HARDER THAN MOST...
2 tags
Some things never change.
I had a dream last night with you in it.
I was glad I got to see your face again, But I was also reminded about how much you were ashamed of me and how much of an asshole you really are.
Thank you, God for bringing me back to reality.
2 tags
And yet another night of feeling abandoned.
So many lingering loyalties burnt at both ends.
Easy to love, Easy to leave.
That’s me.
vagueblueeyes:
I want to feel your breath on the back of my neck. I want your hands to draw me and paint me with all the colors in your eyes. I want the silence between us in the night to sing me to sleep. I want to spend forever like this.
Girl Broken Down: Poem. →
girlbrokendown:
We spent all day and night writing poems on each other and with every touch you erased the past tense and others on my skin and turned back time with kisses in tongue trail tingles on my neck and in darkness under covers you left me inexplicably sun-kissed your secret lover, you undid history in…
4 tags
tonight
Your
Sweet melodies
Bring me to
Bay.
The shore line that I’m so
Longing to be by
Set aside
Peacefully.
Caring about no one
Except what matters.
I didn’t think
I would ever be
The line between
Strangers
And what
Truly mattered.
7 tags
2 tags
asking too much
One day we were laying in bed and it suddenly dawned on me that you never kissed my neck, so I asked you about it.
You got defensive. Said, “why does it matter?”
Frustrated, I rolled over and murmured that it was no big deal, I liked it and thought it’d be nice once in awhile.
You fell silent.
The next time we saw each other, we had sex and you kissed my neck for the first...
3 tags
We made love a couple times.
The rest of the times I suppose we were just fucking.
But,
I used to close my eyes and imagine love staring back at me.
You’d tell me to kiss you,
And I did so passionately.
I wanted you
And you used to want me too.
3 tags
I'm not feeling poetic
It’s not a star in the sky that I can’t reach.
It’s not a rose with the pedals plucked off.
It’s not a caged bird that can’t fly.
It’s not any of those cliche sayings.
I’m just tierd of hurting.
No matter what it takes
Never thought I’d have a fucking anxiety attack while drinking. Things have been so shitty and financially, mentally DRAINING this past month.
If you ask ANYONE who knows me, they’ll say something like,”Psshhh, the girls is as strong as the universe is large. No other cat lands on their feet as often as Selena.”
I feel like I’m letting myself down. I KNOW I’m...
January 2012
99 posts
3 tags
I’ll get ready for bed,
Just like I always do.
Stay up late
Hoping
For something to be answered.
Like,
Why do I always
Wait
For you?
And
Why
Why
Why
Don’t you love me
As I
Love you?
I hope you read this,
And I
Hope you feel
Sadness
And I
Hope you feel
Pain
And I
Hope you regret leaving me
Again,
Again.
Because I
Don’t want to be
Alone,
Without...
2 tags
No redemption.
At one angle, you could be beautiful. At another, you could be hideous.
As a person a you that no one else can control
Who do you choose to be?
Are you PROUD?
This doesn’t mean you’ve got to be perfect.
The only requirement
is that you own yourself and what you’ve become.
3 tags
Facts of life
People wear many interchangeable faces and most don’t know their own mind until later. it’s a part of growing up that no one will find.
facts of life are unsanitary at times.
But, are you willing to dig through the garbage
even after smelling your own rotting body?
The saying never rings truer, “whoever smelt it, dealt it.”
But everyone felt ashamed and embarassed.
...
7 tags
Saying never helps believing.
There’s always that something on the tip of your tongue, But it won’t come out. Too much bad taste left in your mouth.
Crunchy sugar stirred in cold coffee. It just isn’t the same, even though it is… essentially.
You find your mind counting cobblestones without knowing where you’re going.
Calculating everything to find an answer that just isn’t there. And...
I’m waiting
For a wall to be
Let down
Somewhere.
Brick is harder to break
Than it
Used to be.
tough times
thevagabondking:
3:33 pm read the clock
half way to hell i thought
because there’s only one six on a clock
i put down ten dollars on the bar, all in crumpled up ones
one by one by one by one by one by one by one by one by one by one by one
“keep them coming son,”
i said
so she brought me back a shot, said i was done
“what,” i replied to no avail
apparently hell comes quicker then...
2 tags
"im just doing what's best"
“Who says?!
Out of the whole time we’ve known each other its going to end with you straight ignoring me. Pretty fucking selfish and I guess if I don’t have anything to lose (which I don’t anymore with you) im going to tell you I love you and I’m sorry that your throwing away what we had. Have a nice life and continue doing what’s best for YOU,...
7 tags
“I don’t think seeing eachother like we have is the best thing for me and you”
But yet after more than 2 years,you dont have the decency to say that to me until I ask you after you ignore me for over a week.
Thanks… A lot…really.
Girl Broken Down: 481. →
girlbrokendown:
There are moments when I long to be treasured, a precious part of someone’s tapestry, loved as though I’m flawless “you’re pretty” they’d say and I’d trip over my own feet to land right in their lap but while they looked upon me with affection the spores of my disordered ways would creep up their…
we are most alive in dreams: Winter: Headlines →
wearemostaliveindreams:
The rain fell. And,
some snow fell, between the sheets.
Touching my windows and the uncovered grass. Until my eyes, heavy from the days and nights passed, shut their curtains.
I was carried off, willingly and surprised. Careful at what I might find hidden within.
Sadness filled my dreams.
…
I love selling myself short.
leaves me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.
phenomenal, I tell you.
well, i guess if you want to stop talking for the...
… Ya know, whatever’s best for YOU.
6 tags
4 tags
you can rub sticks
Until you tire;
light fires
For whatever desire;
But when you draw that flame
To use
It will burn out
Quicker than a self-made
Noose.
To have hope is self induced
Murder;
To ring truth,
You’d be better off
Slaughtered.
It’s hard to live
When you can’t see past the
Cattle.
Hearing screams of
Agony
Doesn’t make you a
Witness
To the...
VelvetBlory: Blory #75 →
velvetblory:
All You Ever
I’m at the bar we used to go to, tumbling my ice and waiting for you. I couldn’t tell you why the fuck I’m here. The ghost of your smile has been chasing me for days and the last thing I need is to fall underneath it again.
“Need another?” the bartender…
Well, ain’t that the fuckin truth. Very well written.
2 tags
i have come to the conclusion that i only miss you...
But that doesnt mean i don’t think about you every passing day.
10 tags
Six Word turned to Five Word
thevagabondking:
thewritersaddress:
The bottle does not define you.
But it certainly refines me
Yessssssssss!
3 tags
I'm so desperate for a job.
Going on a little over a month for the hunt now… I have a few jobs I’m going to apply for tomorrow.. one of them being a job cleaning condos.
This is what I get for busting my ass for my accounting AND business admin degrees.
(NO) JOBS THAT PAY LESS THAN $10 AN HOUR! fucking ridiculous.
2 tags
distilled
I wish that
I could extract
All emotion involved
With you;
Call you over,
Fuck,
And send you home,
Excommunicated;
Pretend that
There is only one
Leader
In this.
When really,
I do need you.
You or someone,
Anyone,
The right one
To make love to
And keep,
And hold.
The problem is
Is that not one instance
Has there been
To uphold the reality
Of my
Desired man.
2 tags
disillusioned
There’s a constant
Gnawing internal
And it
Grows
External
Only
It’s much worse
Than dying.
Instead of
Sawing nails,
I rip them whole,
One by one.
My teeth are next;
Then my vocal cords.
I grab a hammer
And smash.
Knee caps,
Knuckles,
Ankles,
And chest.
Anything to
Break
What’s left.
I leave the brain,
Skull,
To face it all.
And then I wake up...
